Lifetip 7: Embrace doubt

This post is about doubt, about truth, about facts and our reliance on them.

Life of Pi – Yann Martel

One of my favorite books of all times is Life of Pi, which is basically 400 pages of inner musings of a very contemplative kid.

It is a story about a boy surviving a shipwreck and dealing with his trauma by befriending it. Pi’s inquisitive nature and innocent mind investigate religion in a such an open-minded way, that it opened my mind towards the spiritual realm more than any cleric ever could.

During a conversation Pi had with a fervent atheist, he came to the conclusion that this conviction was not for him, but he did respect the thought process behind it. He understood that atheists were thinkers as well, which was something he could appreciate. He concluded that agnostics were the ones furthest away from the truth, as they accepted the idea that anything could be possible, while at the same time doubting everything. He said:

It is not atheists who get stuck in my craw, but agnostics. Doubt is useful for a while. We must all pass through the garden of Gethsemane. If Christ played with doubt, so must we. If Christ spent an anguished night in prayer, if He burst out from the Cross, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” then surely we are also permitted doubt. But we must move on. To choose doubt as a philosophy of life is akin to choosing immobility as a means of transportation.

Even though this is one of my favorite quotes from the book, I will be making a case for doubt as a philosophy.

Uncertainty is the only truth

These are insecure times. Somehow though, this is not reflected by what we see and hear in the media. People with strong opinions debate each other, the one more certain about their point of view than the other.

In the current state of the world, experts are mocked for changing their views on matters such as climate change or the way viruses spread. Yet, it is the ones that claim to know precisely what is going on and what we should do that we should be watching with suspicion.

If you really want to be right, be prepared to admit some things are simply not known or clear. Doubt and nuance are key, yet these properties are not welcome guests at talk show tables.

Mark Rutte

Our own prime minister admitted that during the peak of the COVID-19-crisis he was making decisions for our country based on whiffs of evidence and in some cases deciding what the course would be only minutes before the press conference. There were no clear facts, only ideas. I definitely don’t envy him for having to govern under such circumstances.

I praise him for admitting that he had no certainty to build on.

Subsequently though, as Dutch citizens, we must accept the idea that the prime minister may have flipped a coin to draw the lock down road map, but we need to follow it nonetheless. His doubts may not be reflected in our actions.

The appeal of misinformation

Sadly, US citizens do not have a leader that gives them a clear path to follow. This is not just tragic for the American people themselves, but also for the rest of the world. Just like it gives a kid confidence to compare notes with the classmate with the best grades before a test, we have become accustomed to look at what the “land of the free” does, to see how our own course compares.

In fact, POTUS #45 does pretty much the exact opposite of what our prime minister does. Whereas the Dutch prime minister says much is uncertain he still tells us what our course of action is going to be. The US president says he reads everything and knows all, yet he gives the American people nothing to go on as far as a consistent plan is concerned. More even he contradicts himself on a daily (hourly basis) and spreads (and invents) misinformation on the go.

Fake news and disinformation create fearful people that crave for a simple answer on which they can build a simple truth. People prefer a solution in a happy meal package; not nutritious per se but cheap and easy to swallow. We must not give in to that.

Actual facts take a while to take form. Ideas that don’t rely on research can be up and ready pretty much immediately. When faced with a new situation, people need a frame of reference. Conspiracies and fabricated information find fertile ground in these moments, as scientific information will not yet be available in such an early stage.

Practice doubt

In order to become a doubter, you must:

• ask questions
• empathize with people that think differently
• be brave enough to change your mind
• accept that absolute facts are rare (if they exist at all)

Because the more we admit we don’t really know anything for certain the closer we will be getting to the truth. The humility we gain in the process could even turn out to have a positive side effect in other areas as well.

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Doubters alert – Part Two

This is Blog 4 in my A-Z Blogseries:
Doubt

I recently noticed my first “Doubter Alert” blog was getting quite a few views (which I still can’t really explain). To be honest, when I saw the title appear in my stats I couldn’t even really remember what it was about. So I re-read my own post and was inspired to write a follow-up on it.

The original blog sprouted from a WP Prompt, in which you were encouraged to write about a “commonly accepted truth” that you disagree with or at least seriously doubt.

The list I assembled consists not so much of “commonly accepted truths” but more of modern day arguments and opinions that a growing group of people seem to have.

Voting is useless.
I think it was actually my brother that said this to me at some point. He’s a skeptic, in more ways than one, and he has stopped casting his vote. He says that he doesn’t know who to vote for and always feels like he’s been duped in some way or other anyway.

I guess I kind of understand the sentiment.

I disagree vehemently though and it makes me sad to see people so disillusioned by the people in power (and, following George Carlin’s logic, the general public as a whole).

Atheists have no moral compass.
This has never actually been said to me explicitly. It is something I read in comments on Social Media and may have been suggested by a street Evangelist or two.

I like to think I am a good person. I care about what happens around me, from plants to animals and of course fellow human beings. I do what I reasonably can to be a positive presence in the world.

What could believing in angels, spirits and god(s) have done to improve my morals? I really don’t see it…

A Dutch white person criticizing Black Pete does this only out of political correctness and doesn’t truly believe what they say.

This is a complicated one, especially to non-Dutchies. Is that true? I’m not sure. Now that I’m writing it down I’m think it’s actually simpler for outsiders… (Oy, so much doubt!)

Anyway, it took me 5 long blogs to sum the problem up last year, so please feel free to read those (starting with this one) to get a general idea of what I mean with the statement above.

Other statements that people these days are making, that I have my doubts about:

• Genetically modified food is bad for the planet.
• I have freedom of speech so I can say whatever I want in whichever way I want.
• You can’t trust the media (or even worse “journalists are the enemy of the people).
• Vaccines are unnecessary
• Climate change (human caused or not) is an inevitable fact of life that we just need to accept instead of trying to fix or prevent.

Reading my list makes me rethink my first A-to-Z blog, in which I asked myself if I was an activist. It’s clear politics and societal issues play a big part in my musings of late…

All this talk of doubt reminds me of a quote from one of my favorite books:

As much as I love this book (seriously, read it. Better than the movie), I think I actually disagree with that statement. I think asking “why” is always a good thing.

People that believe in absolute truths are not the most pleasant people to be around, if you ask me…

At the same time I do understand that you need to calibrate yourself as well and decide on what rings true to you. Doubting everything can drive you mad (or paranoid).

As always, it’s all in finding balance.

PS: Check out the etymology of DOUBT and why it has “b” in it. Interesting!

Odd Jobs #5 – phoney me

When I wrote my first “Odd Jobs”-blog in September 2015 I was just starting to settle in at the job I currently still work at and was still very much in the honey moon phase. Don’t get me wrong, I still love my job and am not planning on leaving any time soon, but things have changed since then, which is logical and good for my development (or so people keep telling me).

Looking back across my CV and the different jobs I’ve done, I see one big trend: the telephone. The odd one out in that sense, is my time at the notorious tax office (aka the most miserable you have ever seen me). And thinking about it now, I think I only said yes to that job because it involved no phonework whatsoever and I had decided I needed to take a big and conscious step away from call centery work if I wanted to move forward.

When I started taking my frustrations from work out on my favorite people, I changed my mind quickly and ran back to the first phone I could find.

My current job involves picking up the phone but is very un-callcenter-like in every other aspect. My previous work experience made this part of my job a walk in the park and very gradually shaped me into the company’s unofficial “phone coach”, as a surprisingly large group of people is either not very good at this or genuinely afraid of the ringing machine… Helping my co-workers find their telephone courage taught me several things:

• Maybe, perhaps, probably, possibly, could and should are words that express doubt and avoiding them not only makes the person on the other end of the line feel more confident about the message you are communicating, but also has a positive backfire-effect on the person who speaks them.
• “I don’t know” is a perfectly acceptable answer (when it is true) and is more helpful than offering a solution you are unsure about.
• A sincere “I am sorry to hear that” is sometimes all that is needed.
• Words are powerful things and should not be underestimated.
• There are many ways to say “No”.

An interesting transformation I have seen happening in “newbies”, that I recognize now in myself as well, is the following:

1. The beginning:
   Internal dialogue: So much new information, I will never get the hang of this!
   I feel unsure / hesitant / overwhelmed / Argh!
2. One month later:
   Internal dialogue: Customers are not calling to make my life miserable and I actually know quite a bit!
   I feel more confident / proud / relieved.
3. Getting the hang of it:
   Internal / external dialogue: “Yes, yes, no need to finish your sentence, I know what you want. Probably better than you do. Let me get into my flow and tell you everything I know so you can be on your way.” Next!
   I feel over-confident / impatient / repetitive / superior / judgmental.
4. Slightly frustrated
   Internal dialogue: I’m quite sure I was giving customers the information they needed but now that I’ve been told to try a different approach I feel like an idiot.
   I feel insecure again. I feel like my words sound insincere and unnatural. I feel rebellious.
5. Telephone zen
   Internal dialogue: First, I’m just going to listen….
   I feel relaxed / open minded / self-confident / ready

What I disliked about callcenter work:

• Scripts.
• Being evaluated using silly standards such as
  • Did you mention the client’s name the right amount of times?
  • Did you ask the client if there were any further questions (even when the client has clearly said he / she had no further questions)?
  • Did you say all the sentences in the right order?
  • Did you manage to keep your average conversation time under 3 minutes?
• Strict break times.
• Good hair days turning into bad hair days after constantly getting entangled with headphones.
• The constant buzz of people talking around you, for 8 hours straight.
• The unhealthy air / lighting.
• The clear limit there often is to the amount of critical thinking that is tolerated.
• Crappy tea (and apparently also bad coffee, but that doesn’t affect me)
• The fact that I can’t pick up my own phone without automatically mentioning my employer’s name as well.

What makes my current employer different:

• No real script, apart from the greeting when you pick up. The rest of the “script” consists of general pointers and tips (that by now have mostly been written by me).
• Break time is very flexible (up to the point that many of us forget to take a proper one).
• Relatively small budget, so pretty crappy phones & underlying technique.
• It is encouraged to come up with alternative ways to do things and every idea will be looked into seriously. Disappointment when your plan disappears into the bin after one (or two) looks, is not really allowed though. You must be able to get yourself together quick and move on.
• No evaluation (or none that I notice).

What I hope to master in time to come (or at some time in my life):

• Time keeping
• Making decision with “the bigger picture” in mind
• Making a plan and sticking to it.

My final conclusion is that call center work is often seen as the bottom of the career food chain, and yes, any slacker could probably do it… but people that are really good at it need to know so much about so many things, starting out with empathy. I think that if every human being would work in customer care for a while and would really make an effort, the world might be just a little more friendly…